It's been 6 years since I've competed in a remix contest. Well okay, let's be honest... it's been 6 years since I've done a remix at all! With a new career, family to attend to, and very little precious time for music, I made an effort to focus my time on working on the upcoming album, "The Mortal Veil". And enduring a year sorrow and grief on top of that has come at the expense of some creativity.
I'm not entirely sure what grabbed my curiosity to see what might be out there to remix in that big scary world. I'm sure my struggles had a part to play in my utter lack of enthusiasm while perusing the list of songs on remixcomps.com. But some lyrics grabbed me from EleX's "Something in the Air" And then I felt God's presence press upon me with an excitement. He asked, "Can I work on this with you?" So I did.
My quiet time with the Lord has been lacking - not just from being busy. It's been a very challenging year for me; a trial of sorts. My wife's father passed away almost a year ago, but it still feels like yesterday sometimes. Grief came. Things that have been safe unraveled. I struggled with feeling split off, not being able to connect with myself - translating to unfocused time with God.
But his invitation to create with me was something different. He was inviting me (or was it, waiting for me to invite him?) into my busy life. Not wanting just the quiet time together, but to be in and among my crazy work schedule, my creative spells, and my broken places. Its been years since I've invited Jesus into my creative time, and I knew I had to take him up on the offer.
What followed was a fast-paced process of ideas back n' forth. "How about guitars here?" "What are you feeling from these words, Brian?" I followed these questions and tapped into something deeper and more moving than I expected when working on the mix. And I learned to enjoy the creative process again, not just the end result.
But the end result is still awesome. ;)
What I tried to do with this song is tap into my childhood. And I remember wearing out cassette tapes (specifically the Chariots of Fire sountrack by Vangelis) playing parts of songs over and over just to tap into the longing and haunting they conveyed. I feel like I've carried these deeper places with me all of my life - and this is what I wanted to imbue into this remix.